Monday, October 26, 2009

Wow

I haven't posted in a long time. Summer came and things got busy, and then I got really, really lazy. I have been in a funk for the last few months where I have been a pitiful stay at home dad. I haven't been doing my job. I should be fired. Updating this blog is only a small part of what I haven't been doing.

I also have not been bothering to keep up with house work. Not cleaning, not cooking, nothing. I don't know what happened. I have just lost all my motivation. I have not been a good husband, and I have not been a good father. You could take the last 5 months and just throw them away, because I have. I need to get back into living life. I need to stop just watching it go by.

One of the side things about losing motivation is I had lost about 30 pounds. Even while unmotivated I didn't put it back on, until lately. Over the last month I have put back on all the weight I lost. I have been eating whole boxes of cookies, tubs of ice cream, anything that is bad for me when no one is around to see me. I know why, I am looking for the food to change my mood and make me happy. I guess I have some things in my head to work out.

I think I have gotten out of this spiral. I have started eating better and starting next week I will begin jogging. I use to like to run when I was younger. Hopefully this is just the beginning of a healthier me. I have notice my children have been putting on weight with me. That is my fault, and I am ashamed that I have let that happen.

I am trying to be a better dad and husband. It isn't hard. I know what to do to be the best I can be. I need to stop being lazy, get off the couch and do what is best for the family.